For the past 2 weeks I have had the urge to blog again. The urge has been felt while I have been on my yoga mat. I took the BIG leap of getting myself to my very FIRST Mysore class two weeks ago. It was such an amazing experience to find the discipline & courage to do my very own practice. 2.5 years of yoga have now made me ready to go deeper within, to breathe without an external voice & to crave to practice all by myself.
I feel that I am on a new journey in my yoga practice both physically, mentally & outside of the mat. The sudden urge to blog is probably because I want to verbalize my new journey of a more disciplined yoga journey with an outside world.
Let this new journey begin.
2 months & 17 days in from recovering & adjusting to mommy hood I get to visit the Bikram shala with my mat! What an experience! I had a feeling of gratitude through most of the practice. However, at times I really missed my little son since I never have been away from him before. I cannot imagine mama’s who have to work & leave their little blessings at home!! I am soo blessed to be able to stay home with my little spirit!
At first it was easy going through all the breathing & initial poses but after about 30 minutes I was ready to throw in the towel. My mind started feeling sorry for myself as I was still recovering from pregnancy I thought….at around 50 minutes of heat, sweat & yoga I finally started to really enjoy the practice. My feelings of gratitude & happiness came back! And the timing of waiting for more than 2 months felt perfect! I wouldn’t have enjoyed doing Bikram anytime sooner.
I am still avoiding sugar! I have now gone 2 1/2 weeks without any sugar from candy, soda, cookies or any Starbucks/Coffee Bean cups. However, I still have cravings for sugar and I kept wondering why I am walking around craving sweets soo stronly. This craving of sugar has been worse than quitting smoking. So I went to my friend Google! And Google told me that it could be because I am breastfeeding, which totally makes sense. But I am still confused of why it has created a sugar craving in my system. At times I do allow myself an apple and I do eat Luna Bars – they are soo addicting as well (they do have 12 g of sugar – but I totally ignore the 12 g’s….- I still consider myself sugar free!)
During these past few days I have practiced some yoga as well. Even tough I still haven’t gotten to a full hour & a half of ashtanga at home I still have got to do the sun salutations on a daily basis. And it is amazing how the body has a “muscle” memory. The flexibility & muscles are quickly coming back. I still do have to work a lot on my arms tough. The chaturangas are a bit tough to go through even while just doing the sun salutations…my spaghetti arms are still yet too weak.
Today I dared myself to try the kapotasana (king pigeon pose). I have been afraid to try it thinking that I wouldn’t be able to bend myself this much but I did it! And it wasn’t as scary as I had envisioned myself it to be. Now I just need to fine tune it – like I feel that I need to do with all my poses – but I guess that is what happens when you rust yourself out of pregnancy.
So I’m still struggling with the sugar cravings. It has gone more than a week & I had to have one piece of chewing gum today to get rid of the sweet tooth. It does work with chewing gum for a little bit. The chewing gum was my life savior when I quit smoking & it looks like it will be my savior today.
And I have to admit – I was sooo close to having a teeny tiny bit of Pepsi soda today!!! My hubby man is not on any kind of diet or lifestyle change as I have been & he eats whatever he want, which is why we have the shiny box of ice-cream in the freezer & today he asked me to get him a can of Pepsi. And I was on a total sugar craving mode & all I could see was this amazingly sparkly & tasty Pepsi bottle staring at me.
But do you know what stopped me? The last blog post that I wrote stopped me. I couldn’t fail my goal of quitting sugar by tasting a bottle of Pepsi as I consciously had put it out there for the rest of the world to follow. And do you know how much sugar it is in a bottle of Pepsi? 69%! Wow…that means that you would literally eat approx. 3/4ths of a Pepsi bottle filed with pure sugar….
So here I am – I realized that I dif no want to indulge in 69% of pure sugar. I instead made myself a cup of coffee with 2 tsps of sugar. I conquered the Pepsi bottle today but with another addiction of caffeine…
Lets see what tomorrow brings me..